Things I will not be doing anytime soon

Visiting Aspen.  And no, not because it’s just another overpriced yuppie tourist trap.  I would like to see Colorado and points West someday.

I will not be visiting Aspen because their public authorities recommend that, when you are confronted by one of the many black bears who have figured out that leftover KFC takeout is tastier than nuts, berries, and carrion, you should:

a)  Throw a rock at the bear.

b)  Make yourself look “big;” and

c)  Stand your ground if it charges you.

Um, no.  If I am confronted by a bear, I plan to shoot it repeatedly with a very powerful gun.  Sorry, bear, but my ancestors didn’t spend milennia clawing their way up the food chain to be usurped by a bunch of citified Ursa.  I’m on top and my boomstick and I plan to stay there.

But since I don’t pack heat while vacationing, and since I think that randomly opening fire on wildlife is verboten in Aspen in any case, I shall leave that no doubt lovely town to those who believe that they can dissuade a hungry bear with rocks and good posture.  Good luck with that!  Love, BAW.